My Single Life

I was born to an unwed mother, as was my older sister. This was not uncommon in my family, nor in my town. I wasn’t told who my biological father was. I shared my mother’s bed except when she’d pick up strange men, bring them home, and then they’d move me over to a cot while they had sex. When I was ten, my mother hooked up with a guy who unfortunately became my step-father. He was often drunk and abusive.

We were relocated to a European military base during my junior high years. It was there, while in a contest with my best friend to see who would be the first to lose their virginity, that I first had sex. I’m white, and the boy was black. If my step-father knew that, he would have beaten me severely. My first lover soon moved away, and my family’s relocation followed closely by a few weeks. We wrote for a while, but never reconnected.

I lived my high school years in an ultra-conservative Western state. I didn’t fit in. I eventually found a boyfriend. After a while, he dumped me and I found another. Overtime, I had one other steady, along with a number of others I had met while dancing or through friends. I thought I could find love by spreading my legs. As many women will attest, the teenage boys really didn’t care about me, they only wanted to take care of themselves. While there were a few memorable experiences, most were not. I wish I could forget the time my boyfriend forced me to give head to him and his friend. I was heart broken when I caught my best friend sleeping with my boyfriend and he treated me like crap. Since it was all about the guys, orgasms were few and far between.

I had grown frustrated with the crowd I was hanging out with, and made some new friends at work who were part of the predominant religion. I decided to join their church, and the same week I met a really great guy.